Hello kind and gentle readers! It’s me, the beagle, reporting on what’s happening around the backyard. Mom and Dad took down the garden last year. They said it was too much work for what they got out of it. Plus there was a little problem with destruction. Apparently one of the dogs kept playing in it.
And when the tomatoes ripened, the mockingbirds and squirrels ate them up.
What Mom and Dad really wanted was for me and my brothers to stop tracking in so much mud and dirt. Ha! Don’t they know that’s one of the purposes of having a dog? But Dad foiled me. He seeded the dirt and PUT UP A FENCE TO KEEP ME OUT. Can you believe it? I couldn’t go rooting around for moles!
But I had the next laugh. The grass grew several inches and it all died! Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I never have told Dad how I made that happen. It’s a big secret – but I’ll tell you. I peed it up. Yep, beagle pee is so potent that I killed all that grass. Hey, I don’t care if you believe me! I’m a beagle and I have superpowers! And one of them is to kill large swatches of grass when I want.
But that Dad. He went to the next plan and he did foil me. This year, he put pine straw down on the one side and gravel near the deck stairs. Nooooo. Ick! No more tracking in mud because I slog through a wet pit to get to the back door. No more Mom making me stand there to wipe my feet off while I object loudly. LOUDLY. Right in her ear too because her head is next to me when she lifts up my touchy tootsies. No more seeing how much dirt I can drop from these big toes when I tromp through the kitchen and family room.
Now I wouldn’t want Dad to know this, but it actually looks kind of nice. No, no, don’t tell him! He’ll just start bragging again about how he finally figured it out. But yeah, it is nice and Mom’s a lot happier that the house doesn’t get dirty quite as fast. So that’s the report on the backyard.
Now if only my superpowers could get the pantry open and the treats off that top shelf. . . Maybe if I sit here and stare, Mom will get a clue and give me some. I’m very good at looking pitiful. A beagle could only hope!