The Beagle Tattles That Mom Assaulted Him!


Dear Readers – I don’t understand why Mom calls me a tattle tale.  Geez – all I’m doing is reporting the truth as I see it.  And as we all know, I’m right.

Wanna play?  Dare you!

Wanna play? Dare you!

So it started innocently enough.  Mom grabbed the towel away, enticing my big brother to play.  He loves playing tug with the towel and sometimes she is foolish enough to let him do it lets him do it.

Opening gambit.  Do you want the towel?

Opening gambit. Do you want the towel?

So there’s a lot of jumping, tugging and growling (my big brother, not Mom).  But was that good enough?  NO!  It wasn’t!

And the answer is YES!

And the answer is YES!

Mom starts chasing my brother, shaking the towel at him.  He’d grab it, growl, and then she’d grab it back and start chasing him again.

And the beagle objects!

And the beagle objects!

Well, I couldn’t resist howling at the two of them.  I mean, was this stupid or what!  So I let them know my opinion.

I'll cheat if that's the only way to beat Dad.

See that cheating paw?

So what happened?  Mom turns around and mugs me.  Yes, she mugs me!  She said she was only playing, but I jumped sideways to get away from her.  Then my brother gave me a noogie.  Nuggie?  Whatever.  He rubbed the towel all over the top of my head.

Mine, mine, mine!

Mine, mine, mine!

Eeew!  They assaulted me.  And all I did was run wild circles around them, howling, and getting stepped on.  Oh yeah, and Mom stepped on me too.  Honestly, she needs to be more careful when I get in her face to howl some more.

Higher!  Higher!

Higher! Higher!

And then she laughed at me!  Oh wait, I’ve said that before, haven’t I?  But it’s true!  She laughed at me!  And told me it was my fault!

The beagle sees his chance to get the toy!

The beagle sees his chance to get the toy!

Of course, she didn’t get any pictures of herself doing that.  So she told asked Dad to redo the whole thing again.

He gets it!

He gets it!

Heh heh heh.  I actually got the towel this time.  I couldn’t believe it.  I got the towel!  I got the towel!

And gets pushed off the couch!

And gets pushed off the couch!

And got hip checked right off the couch.  Oh the indignity of it!  And of course, I let go of the towel.  Two seconds and I lost it.  Mom says I’m using too many exclamation points.  Sheesh, what a crab.  Oh, sorry Mom.  I didn’t see you there.  NO!  NO!  Don’t take the keyboard away.  I’ll be good.

Hey – you guys got any treats?  I need some, so send as many as you can.  Uh-oh.  Mom told me last time not to ask for treats.  Well, that’s just too. . . whoops.  Gotta go!  Mom’s on a rampage!

Love ya!  Send treats!

The Beagle

[Editor’s note:  The beagle IS a tattletale despite what he thinks.  His stories can be found at:

Get Out Of The Garden!

Magic Shower Water (she made me take a shower!)

It Was All Dad’s Fault (that the ball got lost)

Play Ball! (Mom made me into a movie star)

Loving His Momma

I hope you enjoy reading his side of the story – remember though that his view is quite biased as to who was right and who was wrong.]