This week’s Six Word Friday uses the word “captive” and comes courtesy of the beagle, who wants to tell his side of what really happened when he yelled out:
HELP!!!!!! I’m captive in the shower!!!!!!!!
Dear Kind and Gentle Readers – TELL MOM TO GET OFF MY CASE! Sheesh. You wouldn’t believe what she did to me this time.
I love love love love that magic water in the bottom of the shower. One of my best treats in the morning is when Dad opens the gate and lets me upstairs to I can lick that wonderful water all up. Unfortunately, I usually have to share, but that’s okay.
When the water runs out, my brother likes to jump up on the bed and roll around on his back to give it a good scratch. Mom says he’s pretty wild when he does that. Do you think he looks wild-eyed in this picture? Well, yeah, I guess he does.
I might not be as book smart as my brother, but I have plenty of street smarts. So the other day when Dad opened the gate, I saw Mom at the top of the stairs and she looked just like the emperor in his new clothes – you know, the one that isn’t actually wearing anything.
I put the brakes on because that means only one thing – BATH TIME! I skedaddled back down those stairs so fast that Dad nearly couldn’t shut the gate fast enough. But he was a little too fast and then he just stood there and LAUGHED AT ME. HE LAUGHED! (Mom says I can’t use any profanity or she WILL find that keyboard I’m using for my beagle sized paws and take it away.)
And then – AND THEN – she dangled a treat under my nose. Not just any old treat either – a greenie pill pocket. The very best kind! So I let her stuff one in my mouth. And then she fed me another one as we walked down the hall. Swee-ee-ee-t. Then she gave me one more and as I chewed it, I realized I was actually in the shower stall. (I’ve just been reminded not to use any profanity. She’s really a crab sometimes.)
It was too late by then. She shoved me in, slammed the door shut and turned the water on. IT WAS AWFUL. All that rabbit turd perfume – gone. That wonderful oily fur that says Eau de Beagle – gone. I got her back though – I got hair everywhere. I heard her complain to Dad later that she was concerned I might plug up the shower drain. Ha! If only.
I also tore around the bathroom and bedroom when she finally FINALLY let me loose. I loved the way I smelled before and now I stunk like pee-yew dog shampoo. The only way to get rid of it was to shake water and hair everywhere.
Of course all was forgiven after a few more treats. After all, not only is the shower water magical, but so are Mom’s fingers. And when they sprout treats under my nose, who am I to resist?
Oh wait, that’s how this all started.
I think I need a nap.
[Editor’s note: The beagle has been quite the tattletale this year. More of his stories can be found at:
It Was All Dad’s Fault (that the ball got lost)
I hope you enjoy reading his side of the story – remember though that his view is quite biased as to who was right and who was wrong.]