My last post started a four part series on how I’m working my way back from a major case of discouragement. My post in early May on being so discouraged is here; part one, which dealt with perfectionism and limitations, is here.
Today I’m discussing about how I tried some stuff earlier this year that I didn’t enjoy as much as I thought I would and how my job impacts my blogging.
Finding out what doesn’t work is okay. I’d written about taking the Sheila Bender class and how I didn’t enjoy it much. Sheila and my fellow essayists were great – lots of good feedback, positive atmosphere. But I found it overwhelming to write a polished essay each week, as well as read and comment on the other essays. For this reason, as well as my dislike for spending all night at a computer (after doing it all day at work), I don’t see myself doing a lot of writing besides my blog and journals.
But you know, it’s good I tried it and got it out of my system. I should have been more careful about my time and how I spent it, but I really thought it was a logical extension of my blogs. And it might be someday, but not for now. I didn’t enjoy the process enough to do it more.
I do love trying things though. I learned long ago that for me, there was no shame in quitting something. Trying it and expanding my life is more important than being sure to finish everything I might be interested in. Many things have stayed in my life and many have not. But I’ll never know if I don’t try. Here’s a longer post where I wrote about trying things, the frustration of the learning curve, and why not every road leads to a new passion.
Working long hours and having a demanding job definitely impacts me. Unfortunately, the hours have been and always will be part of my job. I’m glad to not be consulting – their hours are even worse. The long hours are an expectation of my field and changing jobs is not likely to fix that. Everyone I know is under-resourced for hours and budget. It’s the way things are at this time and with unemployment being so high, employers are not very receptive to fixing this.
I’m not very interested in changing fields. Doing corporate taxation has given me a nice paycheck and benefits. My years of hard work are paying off with my reputation and knowledge and I don’t want to go back to the beginning to establish myself and prove myself all over again. The balancing of work and family is a constant challenge in the workplace and something that I would have to cope with no matter what I kind of work I did.
I wish there was an easy answer to this, but I don’t see one at this time. My favorite boy toy understands that this was the trade-off when he quit to stay home, raise our child, and pursue his art. He’s protective of my time and encourages me when I’m tired or stressed. It may be frustrating to have this kind of a job, but having his support helps tremendously.
That’s enough for this post. The next time I’ll be writing about being overwhelmed and overdoing it.
This looks like a spring picture, but I actually took it on July 1 at the Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens. I loved the jumbled colors of the flowers, the dark green of the trees, and the blue sky against the white arch of the arbor.
Thanks for your great comments! I appreciate them. Thanks also to my new subscribers! I know this topic is a tough one, but I hope you find encouragement in applying my lessons to your own life. My blog has all kinds of things from observations on the game of life to travel to family stories and more in-between.