Caves for Girls

According to, a man cave is:

A dedicated area of a house, such as a basement, workshop, or garage, where a man can be alone or socialize with his friends.

According to Wikipedia, this is because:

a wife may have substantial authority over a whole house in terms of design and decoration, she generally has no say about what gets “mounted on the walls” of a man’s personal space

But I think a woman needs a girl cave of her own, a place where she can have her own things that are not meant to be shared with the rest of the household, where she have her own clutter without it being wrecked or keep it neat as she wants without someone else making a mess.

For me, it’s a home office where I keep my books, work table (kitchen table bought on sale), the old easy chair, and computer equipment other than my laptop, which mostly resides on the kitchen table.  I posted this picture a while back that showed my girl cave at the time.  It was complete with Cat #1 who faithfully kept me company when I hand wrote in my journals.

It’s easier now being an empty nester, but I still like my space and privacy as does my favorite boy toy.  He has several rooms for his art and photography and I have my office (a large double bedroom).  We share our rooms – I use his computer sometimes, he naps in the old easy chair on the weekends.  We’re both comfortable having our own caves to work in.

It’s not easy to make room for a girl cave.  A friend of mine converted her laundry room into one and except when she ran laundry, it was quiet and private.  Another one partially emptied out a large walk-in closet and put in a small desk and chair.  It didn’t have a window, which would bother me a lot, but she liked that she could go in and close the door.

Mary Engelbreit’s Home Companion Magazine (out of print now for several years) used to have the neatest column each month featuring the creative workspace of different women.  They did all kinds of things, some as a living, others as a hobby.  They had huge workspaces and tiny places, ranging from cluttered to obsessively neat.

I don’t think we have to apologize for wanting a little space of our own that’s off limits to tiny hands, where we can get some quiet for a little while, and have our own things.

Here’s one of my first girl caves, a playhouse my father built for my sister and I.  We were pretty little when it was first built; by the time this picture was taken, I was a little too old and too big to use it much.  It didn’t have much light inside, but my sister and I have a small table and chairs, a miniature tea set, and our dress-up clothes.  We loved playing in it.

© 2011 dogear6 llc

Word for tomorrow – OPPOSITE.  If you prefer to work ahead, see the list for the week under “A Word A Day”.


dogear6 View All →

I am a backyard adventurer, philosopher and observer, recording my life in journals and photographs. Visit my blog at or write me at dogear6 [at] gmail [dot] com.

6 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I made a girl cave out of wooden packing crates when I was a pre-teen. I hung cheap plastic curtains in the window to dress it up and I loved it… then my younger brothers took it over when I discovered boys. ‘-)

    Nowadays, my girl cave is a crafts room where I can be as messy and spread out as I want with my sewing and quilting projects. (Though I really am trying to become a bit less mEsSy!)
    ~ Lynda

    • Your girl cave sounds like one my sister and I had when we were pre-teen – card table with a sheet over it. It worked pretty well! Craft rooms are a big help in working on projects and keeping the mess from taking over the rest of the house. Yet another reason why big girls still need a girl cave.

    • Oh man, I’d forgotten all about that. I haven’t read that for a while, but it was a very good essay, especially in a day where women were not expected to have their life (or thoughts).

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