Grrr. . . I wanted to write in my journal yesterday as I’ve been neglecting for a while.  Could I switch on my computer and start writing?  Oh no!  No, no, no, I had to wait for an update from the night before to rewrite registries – 104,000+ of them no less – then reboot, then run sluggish, reboot again, and wait while Photoshop mysteriously opened itself.  By the time I could write, 30 minutes was wasted.  Software updates really need to be more nimble.  I greatly resent wasting precious writing time waiting for my computer to be ready for use.

Prior to this, I had a bit of an internal debate before I turned on my computer.  Did I work on the many things that needed to be done around the house or did I use my morning time to do my own passions?  My favorite boy toy was gone for the day and the house was quiet – well, as quiet as can be with dogs wanting to go in and out or else barking out in the yard.

I made a mistake on this years ago and call it to mind frequently when having this type of internal argument.  A long time ago, on a Labor Day weekend, my favorite boy toy was gone with the child.  I had the whole weekend to myself – the WHOLE thing.  Being a good girl, I spent the two gorgeous days of Saturday and Sunday working inside, stripping wallpaper.  I promised myself I’d take off all day on Monday to do what I want.  And what did it do?

It poured all day long – a hard, cold, miserable rain.  I sat in a rocking chair in front of the sliding glass door instead of out hiking, riding my bike, or in some way enjoying some beautiful fall days.  Being a typical fall in the Midwest, it rained mostly for the next six weeks.

I never did have a weekend that I could be outside for an unlimited time until the following year.  I was so sorry that I’d put work before pleasure.  I resented it bitterly that weekend and took away a life lesson of making sure I took care of myself more promptly.

There is value in doing the worst thing first (this weekend that would be cleaning the house) and getting it out of the way while my energy is high.  But I also get tired of always leaving until later my hobbies and passions, because usually by “later” something comes up and I never get my time for the things that are precious to me.  It could be the weather, it could be I’m so tired that I take an extended nap or go to bed very early.  One night it was taking my favorite boy toy to the urgent care because he was so dehydrated following a bad case of food poisoning; another it was a trio of dogs who popped open a brand new bottle of painkillers for the beagle’s bad back and ate them all.  I stood on the deck on a cold night, making three dogs throw up.  I didn’t write that night either.

So yesterday I turned on my computer, finally getting to write and look over photos from earlier in the week.  I did some research on the Internet, and downloaded some materials for a digital scrapbooking class that I’m taking.  I went to the botanical gardens in the afternoon yesterday, today I sat in the sun and read.  I got stuff done – laundry, some vacuuming, a pot of soup.  But mostly I enjoyed my life.

[Kitty – recognize this picture?  It’s the fall version of my header shot that you admired last month.]

Word for tomorrow – MYTH.  If you prefer to work ahead, see the list for the week under “A Word A Day”.

Nature Seasons autumn nature postaday2011 self care