Home Is Where We Are

My favorite boy toy and I have moved 13 times in our marriage, including our first apartment when we got married, and lived in 8 different states.

It’s hard to explain quite how that happened.  The first few moves were setting up our household, then a small fixer-upper, then a medium fixer-upper and finally a bigger fixer-upper.

After that, the short story is that the moves were for my job.  The longer story is that I work in a niche specialty.  When employers don’t need me, they tend to be fairly uncomplimentary about my skill set.  But when they need someone like me, there are few of me out there to be hired.

A number of our moves were not voluntary – employers went out of business, moved out of state without wanting the old staff, or changed the job in a way that vastly diminished my skill set without giving me something back in exchange.

A few were voluntary – opportunities that I would have never gotten if I’d stayed where I was at.  The move to Virginia happened for two reasons – the opportunity to live closer to the child and also go back to work for someone I’d worked for in the past.

But I digress.  Over the years I’ve made some observations and my favorite boy toy has had some as well:

  • We can make a home anywhere.  The house, the neighborhood, the particulars of where we live can all be found anywhere we go to.
  • We are our best support team.  Part of why each move succeeded was that we had our family unit – my boy toy, the child, and myself.  We were each other’s best friends then and still are to this day.
  • Our things contributed to having a home.  The outside brick, siding, and landscaping were all nice.  But it was having our furniture, our pots & pans, our sheets & towels, and our pets that made a new house into a home.
  • One great thing about living all over the country was having new places to explore.  And have we explored – we have seen all kinds of great things and taken lots of pictures too.
  • We can make friends if we want to.  We haven’t always chosen to.  Sometimes I got what I needed from work, my boy toy from business associates.  We lived near my sister for a while and I was so enamored with it that I didn’t bother to make friends.  I spent my time with her and her family instead.
  • I have friends all over the country.  It’s comforting and wonderful.  We stay in touch, fall out, then get back in touch.  The affection remains though.

Our moves have been successful, our marriage remained strong, and our child adapted and adjusted each time.  She was given a choice and chose each time to move.  It wasn’t always fun, but she did well.

We’re here in Virginia for a while.  I’m not sure why, but I don’t see us moving anytime.  We’re putting down roots, making friends, having a garden.  We see our daughter every other month.  Our life here is good.

Here are some books I’ve enjoyed on home and on wandering:

Home by Mary Gordon

Slow Love by Dominique Browning

When Wanderers Cease to Roam by Vivian Swift

Here’s a picture of our current home.  I did not Photoshop that sky – it was that rich and blue the day I took this picture.

© 2011 dogear6 llc

Word for tomorrow – LADY.  If you prefer to work ahead, see the list for the week under “A Word A Day”.

7 thoughts on “Home Is Where We Are

  1. Dear Nancy, Our outlooks and experiences, once again, are oh so similar. You are so right. It is when we place our things about us that the new shell becomes home. The three of us are also each other’s best friends, just like you. We have had many moves–(including some in MN—wonder if our paths crossed up north!)
    I have been through Richmond, but never explored it. We have been in the Phoenix area for—well it will be 10 years this August. Wow—longest stay anywhere in my life!!
    We, too have had various phases as far as the roots we have placed. The packing and unpacking each time is various degrees of overwhelming.
    But here we are, and there’s no place like home!

  2. Thank you for giving me the link to the post. It’s true that for those of us who move a lot home is where you find your pots and pans, comfy arm chair and of course your pets.
    ‘ve never been to Virginia. Your house looks lovely.

    What a good idea to include a book list. I haven’t read any of them.

  3. Lovely post, lovely photo, lovely current home.

    I envy that you have had the opportunity to live in so many places. However I am sure that boxing up & unpacking that many times would have gotten to me long before move number 13.

    So my conclusion must be what a lovely attitude you have about the events you have lived through to date.

    • We really hated the boxing and unpacking, looking for a new house, fixing it up, etc. etc.. But we’ve really tried to be positive about it. We could have said no each time, but didn’t feel it was time to stay put. We do now though. 

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