My favorite boy toy and I have moved 13 times in our marriage, including our first apartment when we got married, and lived in 8 different states.
It’s hard to explain quite how that happened. The first few moves were setting up our household, then a small fixer-upper, then a medium fixer-upper and finally a bigger fixer-upper.
After that, the short story is that the moves were for my job. The longer story is that I work in a niche specialty. When employers don’t need me, they tend to be fairly uncomplimentary about my skill set. But when they need someone like me, there are few of me out there to be hired.
A number of our moves were not voluntary – employers went out of business, moved out of state without wanting the old staff, or changed the job in a way that vastly diminished my skill set without giving me something back in exchange.
A few were voluntary – opportunities that I would have never gotten if I’d stayed where I was at. The move to Virginia happened for two reasons – the opportunity to live closer to the child and also go back to work for someone I’d worked for in the past.
But I digress. Over the years I’ve made some observations and my favorite boy toy has had some as well:
- We can make a home anywhere. The house, the neighborhood, the particulars of where we live can all be found anywhere we go to.
- We are our best support team. Part of why each move succeeded was that we had our family unit – my boy toy, the child, and myself. We were each other’s best friends then and still are to this day.
- Our things contributed to having a home. The outside brick, siding, and landscaping were all nice. But it was having our furniture, our pots & pans, our sheets & towels, and our pets that made a new house into a home.
- One great thing about living all over the country was having new places to explore. And have we explored – we have seen all kinds of great things and taken lots of pictures too.
- We can make friends if we want to. We haven’t always chosen to. Sometimes I got what I needed from work, my boy toy from business associates. We lived near my sister for a while and I was so enamored with it that I didn’t bother to make friends. I spent my time with her and her family instead.
- I have friends all over the country. It’s comforting and wonderful. We stay in touch, fall out, then get back in touch. The affection remains though.
Our moves have been successful, our marriage remained strong, and our child adapted and adjusted each time. She was given a choice and chose each time to move. It wasn’t always fun, but she did well.
We’re here in Virginia for a while. I’m not sure why, but I don’t see us moving anytime. We’re putting down roots, making friends, having a garden. We see our daughter every other month. Our life here is good.
Here are some books I’ve enjoyed on home and on wandering:
Home by Mary Gordon
Slow Love by Dominique Browning
When Wanderers Cease to Roam by Vivian Swift
Here’s a picture of our current home. I did not Photoshop that sky – it was that rich and blue the day I took this picture.
© 2011 dogear6 llc
Word for tomorrow – LADY. If you prefer to work ahead, see the list for the week under “A Word A Day”.